Avery's 2nd Birthday!

On the 21st Avery turns 2!  I can't believe how fast the last two years have gone.  This year my little girl learned to talk (3-4 word sentences), jump, sing (off tune, but she's learning!), her alphabet, her colours, her numbers, and how to count to 12 (reliably without #5).  I'm sure there are tons of other things she's learned, like how to be an awesome big sister, and how to give the best kisses and hugs in the world, but I digress ;).  We decided to have her party today due to my impending surgery on Monday.  Here are a few pictures:

I'm really bad with taking pictures because I prefer to enjoy events but we got a few.  She LOVES Paw Patrol and she LOVED the decorations and cake. She had a blast.  Love this girl to bits!  Happy 2nd birthday Avery!

Recap--The bad, the good, the better

Hi all,

It's been many months since I last wrote, and much has happened.  A few weeks after my last post, my grandfather passed away.  He had been suffering from bladder cancer and it finally claimed his life.  I was with him in the hospital when he died and I am grateful that he didn't suffer for very long.  He had been battling this for years and it was under control until the last 2 years.  He didn't experience any severe pain until the last 2 weeks of his life.  Very merciful indeed.  He would have been 91 tomorrow.  I love him, and I miss him, and I think about him often but I'm glad that he is now with my grandmother again and we can do his temple work next year.

April and May were kind of a blur, with funeral plans, starting a second job, wedding plans, and still teaching seminary.  I feel like we may have alienated a few of our friends during this crazy and difficult time.  It's not because we're engaged and don't want to hang out with you guys, trust me, we do want to.  A lot.  Please contact us and hang out with us.  We will make time for you. 

As for wedding plans, things are going very smoothly.  My sister has been taking care of everything and just letting us know what we needed to do when we needed to do it.  It's really been a load off.  All of the big things are done-invitations, DJ, rings, temple bookings, endowment interviews (1 down 1 to go), new apartment, new job (for me, starting the end of August!), bachelorette party, wedding shower, and much more.  The only big thing left for me is to finish my wedding dress.  I have a 4th fitting with the seamstress next week and it should be almost done!  I'm really excited for the final product. 

All of that, working like crazy, getting jobs, losing jobs, getting released from callings, and attending the temple at least once a month, it's been tiring.  But we're finally feeling on track and that things are starting to cool off.  We'll be in a flurry about a week or so before the wedding,  but the next month should be relatively smooth sailing.  I'm really looking forward to getting my endowments in a few weeks.  It's going to be great!  That's pretty much the main update right now, but we'll try and keep you posted!

Until next time!
-J

Exit Plan A

Alright, so for all you curious people, here is our story.

Jon and I first met back in January of 2011 (What?  When?).  As we recalled how long he's been in Ottawa and our circle of mutual friends, we remembered that we indeed had met at our friend Carl's New Year's Eve party in January.  I had to admit, I barely remembered him there, and he only remembered me because of my very memorable best friend Sierra :P.

In July 2011 I came home to Ottawa to start my year off.  When he 'met' me, I looked something like this:

Yep, that's how I roll.  First day back at church, back in Ottawa, back in single's ward, and I decided to go blond and spikey.  That's me.  :)

As I got back into the swing of things, I was invited out to a number of social engagements.  I began to get to know Jon, and thought he was a pretty awesome guy.  Referring back to this post, that tells you how we began dating.  Our first date was Jan 24, 2012.  We went out to the Notre-Dame Cathedral and to Dunn's in the Market for dinner afterwards.  We went on another date on a tour of the Parliament Buildings and dinner at some little Mexican food place in the Market.

We saw each other every day for 4 weeks and we were already talking about marriage.  But, we needed to pray about it.  So we did.  And we each got our own answers.  Mine came while I was reading through old journals.  I was reading about other guys that I have dated and this feeling of peace just came over me.  It reassured me that this time it was different and I knew I had my answer.

As I was driving Jon to the bus stop that night, I told him I had gotten my answer.  He said he got his too, and then he just popped the question "will you marry me?" right then and there while I was driving.  Of course I said "yes" and I had to pull over because we were so excited.  That was almost two weeks ago, and since then, we've started wedding planning and we went to the temple yesterday.  The guest list is almost finalized (we're trying to keep it small to accomodate our student budget) and we're working on finding a place to live for August 1st.  "Save the dates" will be sent out soon so keep posted!

Until next time,
Jess

Life's Unexpected Turns

The past few years have been such a growing experience for me.  I've gone through significant life changes, family and disease struggles, and testimony-trying experiences.  Somehow (ok, I know how) I've been able to come out on top, time and time again.  I know that the Lord has been helping me in my life and directing me in all the things I need to do.  In the last year, I have felt the companionship of the Holy Ghost almost constantly because of my Heavenly Father's helping me to become a better person and leave my past behind me.  I've been happier than ever before in my life and I finally understand that when the Lord asks you to do something, it's for a good reason.  Even if it seems inconvenient for you and your life plan, things will always work out for the better.  The Lord knows what He's doing and will only direct your paths for good.

All of that being said, I was finally at a good place in my life.  I was happy, healthy, and looking forward with faith to my future.  There were very few feelings of lonliness.  Seminary and Relief Society have given me the strength and capacity to love the people I'm teaching and serving and have made my interactions with them more meaningful and real.  They have fulfilled me in a way I didn't think was possible.  I love my callings. 

In my personal life, I had taken the personal challenge to go on more dates.  In the last 6 months, I've been out on dates with a number of different guys (I think 6...).  It was all pretty casual and I had some fun times.  More recently, one of my friends came out of a relationship and I figured, why not?  I'll ask him out.  I knew that we had fun as friends so maybe we'd have fun on a date too.  He said yes, and we went on a few dates...that were actually pretty awkward.  Transitioning out of the friend-zone is never easy, for anyone.  We finally talked about it and realized that there was no reason to be awkward.  We could continue talking about everything we had talked about while we were friends (even the supposed date-taboo topics like past relationships and dating in single's ward) and not be uncomfortable about it.  Pretty solid agreement.

That being said, once the awkwardness was out of the way, our relationship was allowed to grow and now, for the first time in a very, VERY long time, I am officially dating someone.  It's new, and exciting, and we both feel good about it.  :D

Until next time,
-J

January Book Review

In January, I managed to squeeze in reading 3 books (ok, I cheated a little and started one just after Christmas, but close enough). 

First, Still Alice by Lisa Genova

 

This book tells about a psychology professor who is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease at the age of 50.  It goes through the terrifying identification stages, the dangerous disorientations, and the heart-breaking memory losses.  It highlights the randomness with which Alzheimer's attacks the brain and how some days are better than others.  It shows the difficulty in caring for someone like this because it's such an unpredictable disease.  A very compelling story.

Second, Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn

I read this book as an interesting commentary on religion and governmental control.  Essentially, the people of a fictitious island nation have a monument with the phrase "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" that is dedicated to the man who supposedly invented it.  The letters fall off one by one and the council agrees that it is this man speaking from beyond the grave telling them that they can no longer use those letters.  All words with those letters are not allowed to be written or spoken.  The whole novel stems from the idea that this statue of this man is dictating how language is to be used, rather than the scientific evidence that the glue holding the letters in place for 100 years is finally disintegrating.  An interesting read, but not one that changed my life in any way.

Third, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

A very compelling, somewhat-graphic, portrait of life in Afghanistan during the 1980s and a family who escaped to America for a short time, only to return to Kabul during the rise of the Taliban.  A devastating picture of the fighting between tribes, the poverty and the war-torn country and people.  It made me nauseated, happy, disgusted, hopeful, devastated, scared, and guilty.  It moved me so much that I was on the verge of tears several times.  It may just be that I have very little knowledge of events in the Middle-East during the 80s, but I am shocked by some of the things I read.  But it was a great novel and one I would most definitely recommend.

Until next time,
-J

So Good

Tonight I had the opportunity to go out to an appointment with the Sister Missionaries.  They are so awesome!  It's been so long since I went out with any missionaries, and I forgot how good it feels.  Tonight we taught this awesome guy.  He totally understands the Gospel, and he doesn't think he does.  I actually learned something from him tonight, because of his amazing faith.  To everything we taught him he said "It makes so much sense!".  He also really knows how to study the scriptures.  He found 1 Nephi 1:20 in his first reading and told us how amazing it is!  I didn't even really notice that verse until Elder Bednar's talk in April 2005 General Conference.  This investigator totally gets it just from reading the scriptures!  I had to have Elder Bednar speak to me through this talk in order to even notice this verse.  It got me thinking about when I first heard it.

I remember this talk in particular because it really struck me at that time in my life.  I remember exactly where I was and when it was that I heard it.  I was at my mom's office while she did some work (I didn't have my license at this point) and we couldn't get back to the chapel in time for the second Sunday session.  So I locked myself in an empty office, booted up the computer and started listening to the conference.  I remember lying on the floor, almost asleep, when this talk came on.  Suddenly I was wide awake and every word he spoke just stuck in my mind.  It was amazing.  Though I didn't remember anything specific about the talk, since then, the phrase "the tender mercies of the Lord" has stuck in my mind and I think about it often. 

In re-reading this talk tonight, this particular part stood out to me, because I have seen it in my own life:

"As I indicated earlier, the Lord’s tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Faithfulness, obedience, and humility invite tender mercies into our lives, and it is often the Lord’s timing that enables us to recognize and treasure these important blessings...I repeat again, the Lord’s tender mercies do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Faithfulness and obedience enable us to receive these important gifts and, frequently, the Lord’s timing helps us to recognize them."

Since hearing this talk, I have recognized the Lord's tender mercies in my life.  Whether it was as huge as having the Spirit directly tell me, in words, what to do, or having a hymn or scripture come to mind when pondering on a specific thing I was having trouble with, the mercies do come.  I have cherished them.  I love them.  They help bring me closer to my Heavenly Father because they show that He loves me and I know He wants me to know it.

I want to thank that investigator for giving me the opportunity to re-live my discovery of this verse.  I want to thank him for being so in-tune with the Spirit that we had an amazing discussion tonight.  I really hope that he knows how special he is.

Until next time,
-J

I Am Nerd

Alright, recently I have managed to show my nerdiness in so many different ways.  It's just dawned on me how much of a nerd I am when it comes to things I like.  On Sunday I had a conversation about Final Fantasy with a friend and later, with said friend, managed to reference Nirvana, Moulin Rouge, and Gladiator all in the same sentence.  Then, last night at the Sens game, they played music that I correctly identified as being from Star Wars...but not only did I recognize it as Star Wars, I recognized it more specifically from The Phantom Menace.  Yes, it gets better.  I also identified that the trumpet player who was doing all the "da dun da dun da da...CHARGE!!!" music was playing on a C trumpet, not a Bb.  I'm that cool.  Video games, movies, music...oh and books too!  Pretty much sums up my nerdiness. 

Offensive Acts of War

I don't normally write about world issues, but recently I've been listening to World Report on CBC radio 1 and I've heard a lot of interesting (to say the least) stories in the last little while.  One that I heard this morning made me so offended that I feel a seething rage every time that I think about it.

The story is, four US Marines took a video of themselves urinating on the dead bodies of Taliban fighters in Afghanistan.  Not only did they do this terrible act, they made jokes about it like "Have a great day Buddy!" and "He likes his shower".  Ugh!  It is a terrible, terrible atrocity.  I can't believe that someone would feel good about doing something like that.  Enemy or not, people are people and you don't defile the dead.  That's the ultimate taboo, in my opinion.  Urinating on someone's corpse out of sport, making a video of it and posting it proudly on the internet is disgraceful. Sometimes, when I hear stories like this, I don't feel like living on this planet any more.  Sometimes, humans make me sick.

Books I Read in 2011

People who know me know that I am an avid reader.  I go through periods of withdrawl where I have to read everything I can get my hands on...and then I'm good for a few months.  I sort of got into the habit when I started university, when there's no time for pleasure reading during school so I can only read over the holidays or summer break.  That being said, I read a number of books for the first time in 2011 and here are just some of the titles:

Holes--Louis Sachar

Artemis Fowl--Eoin Colfer

Pride and Prejudice--Jane Austen

The Golden Compass--Philip Pullman

The Count of Monte Cristo--Alexandre Dumas

The Diary of a Young Girl--Anne Frank

The Five People You Meet in Heaven--Mitch Albom

The Book Thief--Markus Zusak

Jane Eyre--Charlotte Bronte

Wuthering Heights--Emily Bronte

Inheritance--Christopher Paolini

The Five Love Languages--Gary Chapman

And I'm sure there were a few Madeline Wickham books thrown in there somewhere too.  Hey, every girl needs their chick-book fix sometimes.  :P  I also started two other books but didn't finish them before the year was over (Oliver Twist and Still Alice).  I used to be a bit of a book snob and definitely judged books by their cover (and what section of the store they were in...I religiously avoided the self-help section until this project).

I'd have to say my favourite of that list were The Count of Monte Cristo (1500 pages in 8 days!), and Jane Eyre.  Inheritance was also good (800 pages in 2 days) but I didn't like the ending.  I normally don't read this many books a year (The last book I read was in the beginning of November; the majority of these were read between May and September) but back in April I made a list of books I'd like to read.  Mostly it is made up of classic novels that I have never read, but should have.  I've been pleasently suprised thus far and I must say that Jane Eyre is my new favourite book.  I added to it from suggestions of my friends and I hope to continue checking books off. 

Feel free to add any suggestions!!  Also, if you ever feel the need to buy me something, might as well make it a book...or two! :P

Until next time,
-J

Happy New Year!

Happy new year to one and all!  New years is always a time of new beginnings and resolutions.  I found a blog post that was really helpful when making resolutions.  The ones I agree with are as follows:

1. Make your goal specific--"get in shape" is very vague
2. Make it realistic--something you can actually accomplish
3. Make each goal step by step--make a plan of how you're going to do it
4. Failing isn't failing--a slip-up is just a chance to get back on track
5.Keep accountable--when someone else knows about your goal, you're more likely to keep it!

She also suggested not making a goal for the entire year, but I think some long-term goals are good and quite attainable.

So, in keeping with her advice, I will now be accountable to all my readers about my resolutions.  I'd like to share some of the ones I'm making:

Church-Related

1. Spend at least half an hour a day studying my scriptures (not just reading)
2. Say both my morning and evening prayers every day (the morning ones are always forgotten!)
3. Visit the temple at least once a month (Jocelyn is my temple buddy so she'd better keep me on track!)





Other

4. Go on at least one date a month (There's your open invitation :P)
5. Grow out my hair (Some will be more happy than others at this announcement)
6. Save enough money for school (I might have to travel to find a higher-paying job during the summer)


Well folks, those are the ones I am willing to share with you.  The others are more personal and I'll keep them to myself and my journal :P.  I'd love to hear your resolutions as well so feel free to send them my way!  Happy new year and I wish the best for you all in 2012!

Until next time,
-J

Remembering Dec 26, 2004 Tsunami

Monday night, we chanced upon a program called The Passionate Eye.  It was airing an episode entitled Tsunami Caught on Camera, a compilation of videos of survivors of the 2004 Tsunami that began as a result of a 9.3 magnitude earthquake off the coast of Indonesia.  The Tsunami hit 14 countries and had a death toll of approximately 230000 people-a great deal more than the approx 20000 deaths from the Tsunami in Japan this past April. 

The footage and testimonials from the survivors is bone-chilling, terrifying, and devastating.  I cried almost the whole program, just watching the people get swept away by the water and knowing that they most likely died.  It makes me so grateful to live where I do, far away from any coast or large earthquake activity.  Here are just a few pictures of the devastation:

A stirring reminder that we are subject to powers greater than ourselves.


Until next time,
-J

Idols

I don't know whether it's because my students and I were discussing Moses and the Israelites the last little bit, or it's just something that has stuck with me, but the topic of idols has been in my head.  The dictionary defines an idol as:

1.an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed.

2.Bible .a. an image of a deity other than God.

b. the deity itself.

3.any person or thing regarded with blind admiration, adoration, or devotion: Madame Curie had been her childhood idol.

4.a mere image or semblance of something, visible but without substance, as a phantom.

5.a figment of the mind; fantasy. 

Upon the word idol being stuck in my head, I thought of all the ways we use it.  Teen idol, pop idol, American idol, Oktoberfest idol, immunity idol (Survivor), the list goes on!

The encouragement of these things or people being idols comes from, essentially, the mass media.  Magazines like People, OK!, Star, HELLO!, In Touch, Star, US Weekly, and Vanity Fair, all share intimate details of celebrities lives, and people actually buy these magazines and read them.  


People (myself unfortunately included) religiously watch tv shows that have no real substance and, more often than not, portray things like pre-marital sex, drug and alcohol abuse, and violence as normal and accepted.  When our 'idols' do something in a magazine or on tv, we may be persuaded that what they do is ok for us too.

So think about what idols you follow and whether they are worthy of your attention or if you should leave them behind and do as Moses pleads in Deuteronomy 4:15-16 "Take ye therefore good heed unto yourselves...Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female".

Until next time,

-J

 

Letting Go

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us" 

--Joseph Campell

"'We hold fast by letting go.'  Letting go of our attempts to control things, our attempts to maintain control over every aspect of our life.  We've all heard the saying about if we love something, we should let it go, and then we'll know whether it 'belongs' to us when we see whether it comes back to us.  So much of our discontent and our dissatisfaction comes from our unwillingness to let go of trying to control things and trying to cause just the results that we think should occur." --Tom Walsh

Sometimes you have a plan.  Sometimes that plan means the world to you.  Sometimes you think that you cannot possibly live unless that plan comes to fruition.  Sometimes that plan is wrong.  Sometimes you need to let go of that plan in order to see another plan that is in front of you.  Sometimes we forget that there are greater things at work in our lives other than ourselves.

There are people who have come and gone in my life who I have wanted to hang on to.  People who I thought would be by my side forever.  When I was younger, I lived in denial.  I could not believe that they were actually gone and that they were not coming back.  So I continued to communicate with them as if they were here.  As I have gotten older, I have made similar mistakes, hanging onto friendships and relationships that were destined to fall apart.  

And now, now I try my hardest to let go.  I try my hardest to find peace in knowing that they are happy, even if that happiness does not come from me.  I try my hardest to believe that something or someone will come along that will not want to let me go.  

I need to stop trying to control my destiny and need to accept that my life is not my own.  "Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it." Luke 17:33.  I am losing myself in the work that I am called to do, and thus I am finding myself more deeply than I ever have before.  So let go.  Be patient.  Have faith.  There is a plan for you and this plan is the right plan.  Lose yourself in the work and you will find peace.

Until next time,

-J

Florida Trip

The lack of posting recently has come from my 10-day vacation in Florida (you're jealous!).  Our trip consisted of Christmas shopping, regular shopping, unnessesary shopping (lots of shopping!), going to St. Petersberg Beach, Disney Village, visiting the Orlando temple, sunbathing, and going out to various places to eat.  It was a good, relaxing time.  It was nice to know that I had no responsibilities while I was away so I got to relax.  Here are some pictures from our trip:

Orlando Temple

Orlando Temple

Hooked on Jesus

The one above it says "Dear Jesus, I love you, Love God"  The one I managed to get is "U + God = :)" Only in America LOL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First live cockroach I have ever seen.  So gross!!  They're everywhere down south!

So, essentially sky writing about God and the "Hooked on Jesus" things pretty much made my day.  They're hilarious!  Also, I got to see my first live cockroach (so disgusting).  They're everywhere down south and I just happened to see this one while I was outside one night.  Nasty little things. 

As for the highlight of my trip, I would have to say it was the Temple.  I now have a second US temple added to my list (Palmyra being the first) and that brings my temple tally (I like to keep track) up to 6 temples that I've done baptisms in.  Boo yeah! 

My mom and aunt went to do an endowment session while I headed to do baptisms.  Originally, I was supposed to be joining a group of 25 youth from the area in a baptismal session.  There were two other girls there (ironically from Cardston, AB) who were on vacation and would be joining in as well.  Well, the group never showed up so the temple workers decided that they would scrounge up some priesthood holders and do a session with just the three of us.  And they did!  We got to go down to the baptistry and the temple president and matron came down and spoke with us for about 10 minutes and then we did our session.  It only lasted about half an hour, but it was a very special experience for me.  I was really grateful for it. 

I've been extremely blessed with many opportunities to go to the temple recently.  I went once in September, once in October, and on top of my experience in Orlando, I'm going to the Toronto temple this weekend for the temple conference.  Four times in 3 months?  Not bad at all.  I'm grateful that we have temples so close! 

Also, this week I started a new job at Concierge Home Services, cleaning residential houses.  It has more consistent hours and I get to work on my own or with just one other person so it's pretty good.  Not that I don't like customer service, it's just nice having a break from that.  I'm still working for Subway a bit while they are training new people so I'm still pretty busy, but things are going well. 

Until next time,
-J

After the Trial of Your Faith

"And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith."--Ether 12:6

The past few weeks have indeed been a trial of my faith.  As I stated in my last post, it finally reached a boiling point and I was having a hard time getting rid of the rage I felt inside of me.  A few things happened this week to help me dispel it, and help me see the bigger picture.  I also think I know why this trial happened.

First of all, I received an angry message from a friend I was fighting with.  He quoted some scripture to me that really incensed me, but I decided that I would humble myself enough to read the scriptures and really think about it rather than responding negatively.  Once read in context, they spoke some words that I needed to hear.  This scripture, read in context, actually helped the situation, rather than make me even more mad.

Secondly, I had another scripture come into my mind that I dwelt on.  It is from the Sermon on the Mount, and it was a really powerful tool in changing my attitude.

Thirdly, institute on Wednesday night was particularly great.  I always enjoy our class, but this week, the things we spoke about really touched me and helped me hear what I needed to hear.  We were reading in 2 Nephi 31, verses 20 and 21.  What really stood out to me were the phrases, "feasting upon the word of Christ" and "endure to the end".  I realized that I was more "nibbling" than "feasting" upon the words of Christ.  Even though I have been studying hard to teach my seminary class, I had figured that I would count that as my personal study as well.  However, I realized that I needed to do separate personal study as well to keep up with my Book of Mormon class and it made a huge difference once I started reading separately.

Fourthly, I had the opportunity to go to the temple yesterday and do baptisms.  We joined a small youth group from Vermont, and it was a great experience.  For two of the people who came, it was their first time attending the temple and I was able to speak with them about the process and bear testimony of the work with them.  It was an amazing day.

Lastly, I realized just before arriving at the temple that I had a question I needed answered.  I prayed in the temple about it, I thought about it after, I had someone ask me about it, I ended up listening to a Relief Society podcast about it, and stake conference spoke about it as well (at least to me it did).  Something clicked inside of me that said, this is why the adversary has been doing a number on you the last few weeks.  He was trying to prevent you from seeking after this blessing and he wanted you to harbour resentment and anger so that you couldn't receive revelation.  But because I attended my meetings, because I continued to pray and read my scriptures, because I attended the temple, in short, because I endured, the Lord has blessed me with some personal revelation.

1 Peter 1:7 says "That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:".  This trial of my faith was indeed a blessing in disguise.  Sometimes the adversary works extra hard on you when he knows that good things are coming your way because of your valiance.  But, as you continue to feast upon the words of Christ, pray, and endure to the end, I know that you will come out on top.  The Atonement is there as an amazing tool for us.  This I know with all my heart and I am grateful for the trials that I have experienced in the last few weeks.  I am grateful for the personal revelation I have received because I endured. This Gospel is perfect and can help you withstand any trial that comes your way.  This I know to be true.

Until next time,
-J

Solutions Welcome

Of late there have been multiple instances where I have had to ignore my immediate feelings to retaliate to the negativism that has been sent in my way and instead, respond in a mature, non-threatening way.  This required Hurculean effort on my part.  I take great pride in being able to defend my arguments and myself through intelligent and cohesive defense, so to not defend myself, to me, feels like giving up.  I hate that feeling.  I have been suffering with feelings of anger and frustration, mostly because I can't say what I want to say to the people I want to say it to, and it's getting all bottled up inside of me.  I'm frustrated with myself for not being able to let this all go.  I should be able to let it slide off my shoulders and forget about it, but I can't for some reason.  I know that the adversary can gain a hold very easily when there is anger in your heart, so I am trying very hard to be at peace.  However, I can't seem to block out the negative influx from other sources.  I have been praying for strength, praying for peace, and reading my scriptures, but my anger continues to be kindled.  I cannot seem to find a lasting solution to this problem.  So what I am asking is, is there any productive outlet that you can recommend to me to rid myself of these feelings of anger and frustration?  I welcome any and all solutions.


Until next time,
-J

It is a Hard Thing

In seminary this week we spoke about desires.  We spoke about identifying the difference between a righteous desire and a worldly desire.  Coincidentally, I've spoken with a few people this week that have also brought this subject to my mind and I feel the need to write about it. 

First off, identifying your righteous desires.  Consider Abraham and the things he desired:

"And, finding there was greater happiness and peace and rest for me, I sought for the blessings of the fathers, and the right whereunto I should be ordained to administer the same; having been myself a follower of righteousness, desiring also to be one who possessed great knowledge, and to be a greater follower of righteousness, and to possess a greater knowledge, and to be a father of many nations, a prince of peace, and desiring to receive instructions, and to keep the commandments of God, I became a rightful heir, a High Priest, holding the right belonging to the fathers." (Abraham 1:2)

Abraham wanted to receive the Priesthood, possess great knowledge, be a great follower of righteousness, be a father of many nations, be a prince of peace, receive instructions, and to keep the commandments of God.  All of these things are righteous desires.  If I were to apply this scripture to myself, this is how I would interpret these desires:

-Live worthy of the Holy Ghost
-Seek after life-long learning
-Attend all my church meetings and fulfill my callings to the best of my ability
-Become a spouse, and then a mother of righteous offspring
-Soothe contention and attempt to resolve conflict peacefully
-Be open to personal revelation and be willing to act upon it
-Do all the things the Lord wants me to do

I do have all of these desires and I know that they are righteous.  Thus, I can know that the Lord will help me to obtain them.  If I ask Him for help and do all that I can, no righteous desire of my heart will go unrecognized.  Let me quote a few scriptures to help our understanding:

“And whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is right, believing that ye shall receive, behold it shall be given unto you.” (3 Ne. 18:20.)

“But if from thence thou shalt seek the Lord thy God, thou shalt find him, if thou seek him with all thy heart and with all thy soul.

“When thou art in tribulation, and all these things are come upon thee, even in the latter days, if thou turn to the Lord thy God, and shalt be obedient unto his voice; … He will not forsake thee.” (Deut. 4:30–31.)

The main point I wish to emphasize in these scriptures is that it takes more than good intentions to receive blessings from the Lord.  Not only do you need the desires, you need to let them "work in you" (Alma 32:27) to the point where you are brought to action.  It is not enough to just believe that we will receive. "For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." (James 2:26).  The only way that we can receive continual instruction from the Lord about how to live our lives and accomplish our righteous desires is if we accept that revelation/prompting and follow through with action.  

Many may be tempted with saying "it is a hard thing" (1 Nephi 3:5) that is required of us, i.e. to come to action and do what we need to do to accomplish our righteous desires, but I remind you that "With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible." (Mark 10:27).  Whatever it is you are struggling with, whether it be schooling, dating, your job, your church calling, if you have righteous desires concerning these things, the Lord will help you if you ask Him to help you.  And, once you ask and He gives you direction, act on that direction.  Remember Nephi:

 

"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them." (1 Nephi 3:7 emphasis added)

I know that as we seek after the things of righteousness and stop waiting on the road to damascus, acting in faith, we can receive the desires of our hearts.  This I know to be true.

Until next time,

-J

5 Love Languages

It seems that many of my guy friends have been talking about the book "The 5 Love Languages" recently and my friend's blog post inspired me to finally read the book.  It was very interesting!  I don't want to give an entire description of the book, but here's a general breakdown of concepts:


If you're not 'speaking' your significant other's love language, they will not feel loved. We each have something called a 'love tank' and if it is not being filled on a regular basis, that love will run dry and we'll be running on empty, not feeling like we're loved.

The five languages are as follows:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

In completing my survey I discovered that my primary love language (by far) is words of affirmation.  That means that I enjoy receiving praise, compliments, expressions of appreciation, kind words verbally or in a note, etc.  My secondary ones were almost tied between quality time and physical touch.  Though, in response to that, I feel like the affirmation and quality time are musts before the physical touch comes into play.  Acts of service was number 4 and gifts...well that got a plain old 0.  I've never felt comfortable receiving gifts, though I do like giving them. 

All of that being said, as a fairly intuitive person, I feel that part of the reason I get along with different kinds of people is because I can sense what I need to give them for them to feel loved.  There are a few exceptions of course, and sometimes I misread people, but I try hard to give people what they need.  That ties in with my being an ENFJ, but that's another story.  I encourage you all to read this book and learn a little more about how to fill your significant other's (and even your friends and family's) love tank.

Until next time,
-J 

Conference Overview

What an amazing weekend!  This is the first time in a long time that I went to the chapel for all four sessions of conference.  Even though I was sick and could barely keep my eyes open for most of it, I still came away from it with really great spiritual inspiration.  The funny thing is, most of that inspiration was not for me specifically, but for my students.  That is something I haven't experienced before--being given direction for someone else instead of myself.  I guess that's how it will be when I have kids of my own.  For now, the students in my class are the special spirits in my care so I can receive inspiration to help them. 

So, instead of giving my overview of every talk of conference (we'd be here a while) I'll give a summary of the talks that touched me most.

Elder Jose L. Alonso (of the seventy)
-true happiness is following the example and teachings of Christ
-those who have felt the touch of the Master's hand feel more inclined to follow Him
-we need to act and search for the one who has been lost (sometimes they don't even know they're lost)
-Do NOT delay!  We may lose them forever!
-The Saviour's love is for all but He never loses sight of the one
-Happiness comes from making and keeping sacred covenants


Boyd K Packer (president of the 12 apostles)
-young people are being raised in enemy territory
-despite the opposition, you need not fail or fear
-the Gospel plan is the Great Plan of Happiness
-All beings who have bodies have power over those who don't
-my testimony is key to supporting others
-Angels speak with the power of the Holy Ghost
-You'll not make a big mistake without first being warned by the Holy Ghost
-You are never lost!
-You will be protected by evil if you heed the promptings of the Holy Ghost
-Lucifer will lose!
-Surround yourself with friends who desire to be good too

Dieter F. Uchtdorf (2nd councellor in the 1st presidency)
-retain in remembrance the greatness of God
-We are the reason He created the universe
-D&C 18:10, Moses 1:39
-Compared to God we are nothing, but to God we are everything
-a person's true value has little to do with what the world prides
-those who will inherit the kingdom of God will be those who become as little children
-Satan tries to focus us on our own insignificance
-it doesn't matter where you are, what your calling is, or what your standing is with others, the Lord knows your heart and will bless you
-He will use those hwo incline their hearts to Him
-Your influence can be flet even if it goes seemingly unnoticed
-the Lord uses a scale very different from the world to measure the worth of a soul
-1. God loves the humble and meek
-2. The Lord entrusts the fulness of the Gospel message to be preached by the meek and lowly
-3. No matter where you live or how meager your circumstances you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father.  He knows your acts of loving kindness
-4. What you see and experience now is not what forever will be
-God sees you as the being you were created and designed to become


Ian S. Ardern (of the seventy)
-become the master manager of our time
-time flies on the wings of lightning, we cannot call it back
-prioritize our choices to match our goals
-the poor use of time is a close cousin to idleness
-don't let technology take over
-let us be as quick to kneel as we are to text
-we must devote our time to the things that matter most



Carl B. Cook (of the seventy)
-"remember, it`s better to look up"
-re-direct youe focus to God, we will be blessed to have faitha nd strength to fulfill the things we have been called to do
-sins are forgiven and burdens are lightened as we look to Christ




D. Todd Christofferson (of the 12 apostles)
-the prophetic call to repentance should be celebrated
-justification and sactification are just and true
-steps to repentance:

1. Invitation to repent is an expression of love
2. Repentance means striving to change
• it takes effort on our part
• real change, real repentance may require repeated attempts
3.  Covenant to be obedient to the Father--Baptism
4. Repentance requires persistence
• true repentance is not superficial
• confess and forsake
• my soul is filled with joy as exceeding was my pain
5. Whatever the cost of repentance it is swallowed up in the joy of forgiveness

Elder Robert D. Hales (of the 12 apostles)
-why is it so hard to do the Father's will?
-why is there such terrible tribulation and to what end?
-to grow, to develop, and to be strengthened
-we wait upon the Lord
-tests and trials are given to all of us to see if we will use our agency to choose to follow our Heavenly Father
-wait means "to hope", "to anticipate", and "to trust" in the Lord
-Endure to the end
-plant and nourish a seed of faith with patience and diligence
-tribulation worketh patience
-stand fast and press forward in faith having a perfect brightness of hope
-**all things with which we have been afflicted will work together for our good**
-our understanding of what the Lord has for us comes line upon line
-wait in faith--the promises of the Lord are sure
-in your Gethsemane, you are never alone

Elaine S. Dalton (Young Women general President)
-fathers must faithfully raise daughters by loving their wives

I have no other notes on this talk, but I had a hard time listening to it.  Coming from a family where I had no father in the home, it was difficult for me to think of what could have been if I had a worthy priesthood holder, or father in my home growing up.  Though it was difficult to listen to, it impressed upon me further the importance of getting married in the temple to a worthy priesthood holder.  I don`t want my daughters to be raised without the guidance, direction, and love of a worthy father.

Thomas S. Monson (prophet)
-the world`s message is that morality is `passe`
-we know it`s not
-we are responsible for our actions
-the rules of God are constant
-God`s constancy is an anchor to which we can hold fast and be safe
-we must be vigilent (this struck me, as the same is said in my patriarchal blessing)
-reject anything in your life that does not conform to our standards
-watch and pray always...for Satan desires to have you
-work towards having a relationship with Heavenly Father through prayer


Matthew O. Richardson (2ns Councellor in the Sunday School Presidency)
-a key to becoming a real person in every aspect is teaching in a way that doesn`t limit learning
-teach by the Spirit so it can teach the truth unrestrained
-the Holy Ghost is the real teacher
-to conduct ourselves after the manner of the Holy Ghost is to adjust our teaching methods to align with how the Spirit teaches so it can testify more fully
-The way the Holy Ghost teaches:

1. Teaches individuals in a very personal way
• does not teach all truth all at once
• teach people not lessons
• real teaching involves much more than learning and telling
2. Teaches by prompting, inspiring, and encouraging us to act
• can facilitate opportunities to learn, feel, and act
• we cannot learn, feel, or act for others
• how do I invite and ask those around me to learn for themselves?

-do not become discouraged with your progress
-`look how far we`ve come!`
-lives will change as you teach with and by the Spirit
-God will help you in your efforts

Randall K. Bennett (of the seventy)
-decisions determine destiny (President Monson)
-we are free to choose freedom and liberty or captivity and death

• CHOOSE ETERNAL LIFE!!

-are what we think about and do in line with choosing eternal life?
-ultimately we have 2 eternal choices
-there is safety and joy in living like Jesus Christ
-We all face adversity, we all made mistakes
-we need to become self-disciplined fast!
-am I seeking divine direction through daily scripture study, pondering, and prayer?
-am I seeking the guidance of the Holy Ghost in what I think about and do?
-it is never too late to begin to choose eternal life


Quentin L. Cook (of the 12 apostles)

1. We have a Father in Heaven who loves us
2. His Son is our Saviour and Redeember whose Atonement covers all sin
3. Plan of Happiness includes premortal, mortal, and eternal life with reunion

-Sinking of the Titanic is an example of looking through the lens of just this mortal life
-we`ve seen into the events of evil exercise of agency
-be appreciative for the blessings we receive and the tragedies we avoid
-we should be grateful for the tender mercies we receive in our lives
-an essential elemnet of prospering is having the Spirit in our lives
-the refiner`s fire is real
-fear not for God shall be with your forever and ever
-regardless of the trials we face in this life, there are enough life boats for everyone
-`dying with your music still inside you`
-we know of the great eternal reward
-Jesus listening can hear the songs I cannot sing


Those are the ones that touched me the most.  I`m grateful for conference and for the wonderful messages it has poured into my soul at this time.  I can`t wait to listen to and read the talks again.

Until next time,
-J