The Breakdown

Can't eat, can't sleep.
Can't find anything to keep me going.
The things I enjoy are outweighed by the things I don't.
Feeling lost and stuck between two.
Need smiles, need hugs.

Writing a Book...Maybe

Well, I had the great idea recently that I need to write a book. I've been listening to a bunch of John Bytheway talks and stuff, and it has inspired me. I've had a couple of questions pop into my mind recently and they've stuck with me. I've been pondering on them for a while and now I'm thinking about making a book with my findings and research on one topic in particular. I won't let you know what that topic is, in case I decide to change it, but it's something that has been bothering me for a while...since I don't know everything I feel that I should about it. Anyway, just a short update on my life.

Until next time,
-J

King Benjamin

Today as I was sitting in sacrament meeting, I was reading in Mosiah 2, which is King Benjamin's speech until his people. As I was reading, it was as if I could see him on the tower, proclaiming his message to all the people, and it was as if I was one of those people, touched by his words. Some of the more notable verses that stuck out to me are:

"I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another— I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants. And behold, all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments; and he has promised you that if ye would keep his commandments ye should prosper in the land; and he never doth vary from that which he hath said; therefore, if ye do keep his commandments he doth bless you and prosper you. And now, in the first place, he hath created you, and granted unto you your lives, for which ye are indebted unto him. And secondly, he doth require that ye should do as he hath commanded you; for which if ye do, he doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you. And ye are still indebted unto him, and are, and will be, forever and ever; therefore, of what have ye to boast? And now I ask, can ye say aught of yourselves? I answer you, Nay. Ye cannot say that ye are even as much as the dust of the earth; yet ye were created of the dust of the earth; but behold, it belongeth to him who created you" (Mosiah 2:20-25 emphasis added)

I removed the verse numbers so that you could read it more like it would have been said. I had been feeling pretty good about myself up until a week ago. I have had an issue I was struggling with and was doing pretty well at managing it, but it wasn't until I started to boast of myself, that I was reminded and humbled by the Lord. I am an unprofitable servant and I was relying on the arm of man and not the arm of God.

I'm paraphrasing, but someone told me that you and God are a majority. It doesn't matter how many people are against you, He will always win. If we take into account all of the things mentioned in this passage, it is quite humbling to realize that all that we need to do is keep the commandments. God wants to bless us, He's promised us that He will if we keep His commandments. So why don't we? Don't we want those blessings? Don't we want to be happy? Is it really harder to keep the commandments-when we are supported by the Saviour, by Heavenly Father, and the Holy Ghost-than to live in the torment that we become trapped in as servants to the adversary? Think hard.

To reinforce this idea, verse 31 says "...if ye shall keep the commandments of my son [Mosiah], or the commandments of God which shall be delivered unto you by him, ye shall prosper in the land, and your enemies shall have no power over you".

Essentially he is saying that if you listen to the words and commandments given of the Lord from the living prophet, and do them, then your enemies will have no power over you. God plus one other person equals a majority. And also, for those of use who know, who have listened to the Prophet and the Lord and don't do those things, "To him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin" (James 4:17) That is what we call a sin of omission, rather than commission. So even if you're not going out and doing horrible things, if you're not going out and doing good, following the commandments of God, then you are committing sins of omission and do need to repent of them.

All of that being said, I've had a pretty humbling 24 hours and I am trying to get back on track. I know that as I strive to be better, that the power of God and of the Saviour's Atonement are with me and supporting me, helping me to become better. I hope you all know that as well.

Until next time,

-J

Sheri Dew

As promised, here's my follow up about what Sheri Dew spoke on at the Toronto conference in July.

As sister Dew got up to speak, she told us that she was going up to the pulpit, not knowing what it was she needed to speak on that night. She mentioned some of the comments people had said to her as she asked them about the conference. One guy mentioned that he had met a cute girl, so that was good (lol). From there, she decided to give us a little background on herself. Sheri Dew is a 57-year-old single (never been married) woman. She is President and CEO of Deseret Book (an LDS publication company) and she served as a councellor in the general Relief Society presidency.

Sister Dew said that she wasn't married, and not for lack of trying or opportunity. She said that the opportunities she had just didn't feel right or they didn't work out. She said "never in the history of the world has any husband been prayed about more than mine has". That made me fall in love with the woman. She said that she understood the importance of spouses and children, because she had neither of them. Nothing in her life could fill that void. Sister Dew expressed her faith that the Lord has assigned her to a mission that doesn't require her to get married at this point in her life, but she continues to hope and pray that someday it will happen for her.

From there, Sister Dew went on to speak about our conference. She said that we, as YSA, go to conferences like that one because we want to come away from it changed. Then she moved on to, what I feel, was the main message she gave that day (which she didn't prepare for in advance, but was amazing regardless). She began by saying that God knows who you are, where you are, and what your mission is in life. He knows exactly what you need to accomplish this mission.

Sister Dew then quoted 2 Nephi 28, and said that the adversary's main mission is to:
-get you confused about who you are
-get you confused about your gender identity
-at all cost, he will prevent you from finding out what the Saviour did when he atoned
and
-he will try to prevent you from learning how to receive personal revelation

She said that sometimes we act like we're going to stay in the earth, that we have lots of time to repent and get on the right track, but we're not going to stay here, and we don't have much time.

Sister Dew spoke of how almost all prophets from the beginning of time have spoken about Christ and the Latter-Days. She said (and this is my favourite quote) that "foreordination is profound divine confidence". That really struck me, and I challenge you to really think about that for a minute.

From there she gave us some advice on how to counteract the adversary's mission. She quoted D&C 33:3-6 and said that we must be fearless in building Zion. She also said to read D&C 138 and Abraham 3 looking for the verses that talk about the "noble and great ones". She said that we can become the noble and great ones, and to ask the Lord to speak to you about those verses.

Sister Dew told us to get clear on who we are. She said to learn about what the Saviour did when He atoned and how eager He is to help us. Luke 4:18. The doctrine of the Atonement is a doctrine of healing. Christ has strengthening and enobling power. 3 Nephi 11:32. She told us to repent and believe and to ask for help with our struggles and weaknesses. She also told us to "unplug" ourselves. Cut the time you spend "plugged in" to the world in half because it affects your ability to feel the spirit. Are we going to listen to the Lord or to the world? And finally, she said to learn the language of revelation. Learn what it sounds like when the Lord speaks to you.

This conference confirmed to me that my Heavenly Father knows who I am and what I need in my life. He understands what I need to hear and what I need to feel in order to accomplish my own personal mission. I feel a little closer to that mission now, and feel like I am figuring it out. I hope that you will ponder on what your mission may be (or even missions, because we may have more than one!) and that you will ask and seek and pray about it.

Until next time,
-J