If you're not 'speaking' your significant other's love language, they will not feel loved. We each have something called a 'love tank' and if it is not being filled on a regular basis, that love will run dry and we'll be running on empty, not feeling like we're loved.
The five languages are as follows:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
In completing my survey I discovered that my primary love language (by far) is words of affirmation. That means that I enjoy receiving praise, compliments, expressions of appreciation, kind words verbally or in a note, etc. My secondary ones were almost tied between quality time and physical touch. Though, in response to that, I feel like the affirmation and quality time are musts before the physical touch comes into play. Acts of service was number 4 and gifts...well that got a plain old 0. I've never felt comfortable receiving gifts, though I do like giving them.
All of that being said, as a fairly intuitive person, I feel that part of the reason I get along with different kinds of people is because I can sense what I need to give them for them to feel loved. There are a few exceptions of course, and sometimes I misread people, but I try hard to give people what they need. That ties in with my being an ENFJ, but that's another story. I encourage you all to read this book and learn a little more about how to fill your significant other's (and even your friends and family's) love tank.
Until next time,
-J
2 comments:
I heard a comment on the radio today and it applies to books like these. It was to the effect that nobody is an expert, even if the author is a trained psychologist or whatever, he or she is just guessing. No psychological test or survey is so accurate that you should base your life on it. Let's say you end up treating people (or yourself) based on predetermined categories - that is not OK. I believe you should try to sense what others needs are, yes, if this book helps you hone those senses that's good. I just hope people are taking 'expert advice' with however many grains of salt are necessary. Also, I think the 'love tank' concept is just plain false. Cheers, friend!
I agree with you to an extent. This psychologist states as much in his book. Not everyone is the same, but using this method has helped a lot of people. One thing that he talks about that I really identified with was that love is a choice. Falling in love is not generally, but to continue that love past the "in-love" experience is a choice. Sometimes you have to do things that benefit your significant other and may not be something you like doing. Essentially, love means being selfless and fulfilling the other person's needs, regardless of what they are. That's the message I want to get out there. :)
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