th vanilla ice cream and some mixed berries. Quite a sugar high so early in the morning. I then did some grocery shopping and actually had a conversation with John (my housemate). Our other two housemates are away for the weekend so it's been nice and quiet so far. Kalysha's at the Rookie Camp for new people to the university, and Mickey always goes home to Calgary for the weekends. John's actually pretty clean so I haven't had to clean up anyone else's messes today. It's been nice.
After that, I decided I'd go down and explore the coulees, since I haven't done that yet. Once I finally found the trail that headed down there, I drove my car around the far side of t
he bridge and parked. I walked a fair distance (probably about 2 kms both ways) so I was out for a while. While walking, I encountered this sign-->Not exactly encouraging. Needless to say, I stayed on the trail until I passed that sign on the other side. After walking about a kilometer, I came across the portage route for people in boats to get past the small dam in the river. I found some big rocks and sat soaking in the sun for about a half hour. Just listening to the water and the wind and watching some people on the other side fishing. 
When I was sitting there, I tried to figure out how I was feeling. I wasn't sad, I wasn't melancholic, I wasn't afraid or excited. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I was thinking about my past. I realized that the feeling I had was happiness mixed with anticipation. I feel very strongly that I have a mission to do here, something to accomplish, but I have no idea what. This feeling of anticipation is not one of impatience because I know that the Lord will bless me and guide me to that mission. I'm just waiting for Him to let me know when that time comes. In the mean time, I am feeling content, and happier than I have felt in what seems like years.
When I was sitting there, I tried to figure out how I was feeling. I wasn't sad, I wasn't melancholic, I wasn't afraid or excited. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until I was thinking about my past. I realized that the feeling I had was happiness mixed with anticipation. I feel very strongly that I have a mission to do here, something to accomplish, but I have no idea what. This feeling of anticipation is not one of impatience because I know that the Lord will bless me and guide me to that mission. I'm just waiting for Him to let me know when that time comes. In the mean time, I am feeling content, and happier than I have felt in what seems like years. When I got back to my car, my ipod appropriately began playing "unanswered prayers" by Garth Brooks. I'm not a big country fan, but this song really hit me at this time. Particularly the chorus:
"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when your talkin to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."
If I had all the prayers in my past answered the way I wanted them to be, I wouldn't be where I am now, and I probably wouldn't be as happy as I am now. So on this day, I thank God for my unanswered prayers, and for the guidance and many blessings He has given me the past few months in particular.
For now, I wait.
-J
2 comments:
I loved reading this post!
Thanks, that's always good to know. It's amazing when you finally find the path you're supposed to be on and leave the rest to the Lord. I feel great!
Post a Comment